Secret Single Behavior

Every respectable woman (ha!) is familiar with the Sex and the City reference. For those you of who are unfamiliar, Secret Single Behavior is behavior you participate in when you’re at home by yourself. I think it typically refers to single women who live by themselves (as evidenced by Carrie’s freakout when she decided to move in with Aidan…and also by the fact that it’s called “Secret Single Behavior”), but I think that it can also apply to women (or anyone, really) who live with their significant others who just happen to not be home at the moment.

Jeff has been not home more than is typical for him recently (his friends have been calling this new, social Jeff “dope Jeff”), which is awesome both because he’s broadening his horizons AND I get the house to myself more often. Of course I love his company, but sometimes you just gotta be by yourself, ya know? So anyway, I’ve noticed that I fall into somewhat of a routine when I have the house to myself. My Secret Single Behavior includes:

  • Eating something that does not generally resemble a meal for dinner. Examples include (but are not limited to) a huge bowl of edamame; some semblance of a cheese plate; something dipped in hummus; whatever veggies I have in my fridge thrown together in a relatively unappealing way; or more popcorn than is or should be considered sane. Basically, anything that requires little or no preparation and can be eaten standing up/in front of the TV. Also, I really like to dip things, so if my dinner includes dipping, that’s ideal. Some type of alcohol (usually wine or beer) is always included. (Drinking alone is my favorite – is this worrisome? I say no.)
  • Exercising in a strange manner. This is not always the case, but I have a wedding coming up, sooo…plus, I’ve recently discovered that working out really does work as a legitimate antidepressant. This is especially important to me since winter is coming, and I get killer seasonal depression. Here’s an example of what I mean by “in a strange manner”: last week, I was drinking wine and watching Candidly Nicole (we’ll get to my Secret Single TV Habits in a moment), and I noticed that I was getting dangerously close to my calorie limit on My Fitness Pal, but I really wanted another glass of wine. So I ran a mile…in place, in front of my TV. I was not dressed properly for this (I was bra-less and my hair was down), and I ended up taking my pants off midway through because I got too hot. This is a judgment-free zone, friends. But I felt GREAT after I was done! Another strange exercising habit I have is pacing around my mostly vacant guest room while listening to podcasts.
  • Watching terrible TV. I think a lot of women share this “Secret Single Behavior.” My recent favorite is Candidly Nicole, but I’m also stone cold addicted to Sister Wives, any program on the Food Network involving children competing against each other or bad cooks, Four Weddings (that’s another “just right now” situation), and occasionally I’ll indulge in a little Wife Swap. I’ll also watch TV that I don’t consider to be terrible, but that Jeff isn’t into. Celebrities in Cars Getting Coffee is the main thing that comes to mind, but I’ve also been into Kroll Show (which I think Jeff would enjoy, actually), reruns of Gilmore Girls and Parenthood, and I’ll pretty much always watch The Office any time I see it on.
  • Talking on the phone with my mom or best friend for several hours, pacing around my 1st floor. Hey, remember long-distance? That sucked, right?
  • Saying ridiculous things on the Internet. I don’t really do this purposely when I’m home alone; it just always seems to happen. Which is convenient, because while I definitely consider myself to be an introvert, I also have the tendency to get kind of lonely. When I say something ridiculous online (particularly on Facebook), it tends to initiate a lot of conversation. I have a lot of hilarious friends, so this tends to be a lot of fun.


What weird things do you do when you’re home alone? Judgement-free zone!


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